A Little Defeated

I pride myself on being able to handle things and usually I can roll with it. BUT this Saturday I was pretty defeated. It was a day when I wanted Fletcher here or just to be home where I had family. I knew living so far away would be hard. I had done it before when I lived in Hawaii, but I have to say, not having a family support system is as hard on me as it is on the boys. They long for it too.

I had worked hard to plan a fun Halloween playdate with some of the boys' favorite friends. I cooked all day Friday in preparation, even baking 50 mini cupcakes (6 at a time in my tini convection oven) for a special treat. I decorated the house and yard with signs for a "pumpkin station" to decorate pumpkins and a "bobbin' for apples" station in an effort to make our own pumpkinfest since there are no pumpkin patches here. I woke excited and ready for the kids to have a blast. My boys had other plans.

Our friends arrived and as the kids began to play, it was obvious my sweet Beau was not on best behavior. Although smaller than most of the kids, I would definitely say he's the fiercest with the least amount of fear. I believe he took a swing at 6 out of the 10 kids by the end of the party and his grand finale occurred when he peed in the "bobbin' for apples" bucket. No kidding and no exaggeration. Not the party I had anticipated. If I had more time to stop that day, I think I would've cried, but thankfully there was no time for that. After our guests left and the party was cleaned up, I couldn't help but feel disappointed in the boys and myself. It's a point as a mom that you ask "What is it that I'm doing so wrong?"..... Needless to say, after the boys had dinner, bath, and bed, I had my dinner (a glass of wine and some starbursts) and was in bed by 8:30.

Sunday morning, I was the teacher in Beau's sunday school class. What a blessing that was. I got to spend time with the kids on the playground and had the chance to see what wonderful kids I really have. Yes, they're strong-willed and quirky. They're definitely not wallflowers or pushovers. They know what they want and have no problem expressing it. BUT they're smart and they're kind-hearted......and most importantly, they're healthy. Beau misses his daddy terribly as we all do, but it's easy to forget he's not even 3 yet. That precious little boy absorbs a lot. He asks daily for Fletcher to come home and I can't wait for that day to come. So while I'm busy trying to teach these boys lessons for life, they teach me a few things. I have recounted my blessings this weekend and I'm ready to take on another pumpkinfest (but glad I have a year before I'll need to worry about it).